Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain
“Your brain is not for thinking. It’s for surviving.” — Lisa Feldman Barrett
In Seven and a Half Lessons About the Brain, neuroscientist Lisa Feldman Barrett invites us to rethink what we believe about the brain — and how that understanding reshapes the way we show up as coaches. This isn’t a dry science lecture. It’s a short, potent book that pulls back the curtain on the brain’s surprising shortcuts, hidden predictions, and collaborative wiring.
As someone who loves learning about the brain — and happens to live with a neuroscientist — this book felt both intellectually satisfying and personally meaningful. But more than that, it gave me language and perspective that changed how I coach.
Here are three insights that stood out, and how they’ve deepened both my presence and my practice.
Your Brain Predicts (Almost) Everything
Barrett explains that the brain’s main job isn’t to react — it’s to predict. Based on past experiences, your brain makes quick guesses about what will happen next. It uses those guesses to shape emotions, guide behaviors, and fill in gaps — often before you're even consciously aware.
As a coach, this insight stopped me in my tracks. I started noticing how quickly my brain “fills in” a client’s story. I catch myself thinking, I know where this is going. And in that moment, I risk narrowing what’s possible.
Instead, I’ve begun gently interrupting that prediction with curiosity. I ask questions like:
“What else might be true?”
“What’s important about that for you?”
These open-ended invitations help me stay present — not with the story I think I know, but with the one the client is actually telling. It’s a small shift, but it changes everything.
This practice connects beautifully with ICF Core Competency 7: Evokes Awareness. When we hold space for new awareness, we invite clients to rewrite the script their brain may have predicted.
The Body Budget: Coaching with Energy in Mind
Barrett introduces the concept of a “body budget,” also known as allostasis — the brain’s process of managing your internal resources to meet anticipated needs. Every thought, action, or emotion draws from that budget.
This landed deeply for me. Coaching is energetically rich. We listen, hold space, mirror, regulate — all of which draw from our mental and emotional reserves.
So now, I treat my energy like a precious resource. I prepare for coaching the way an athlete might prepare for a game — intentionally, mindfully, and with care. A nourishing breakfast, movement, and my “mindful self-compassion” playlist help me center myself before high-stakes sessions.
This preparation isn’t extra. It’s essential. It supports ICF Core Competency 2.7: Mentally and emotionally prepares for sessions — and it allows me to show up grounded and present.
Brain-to-Brain Regulation: Co-Regulating with Clients
One of the most beautiful takeaways from Barrett’s work is that our brains are never truly alone. They co-regulate. Through voice, facial expression, and even breath, we influence the nervous systems of those around us.
This felt especially meaningful as a coach. Creating a safe, emotionally regulated space isn’t just kind — it’s neuroscientific.
Now, I pay close attention to how I’m showing up physically and energetically. I mirror my client’s tone. I slow my breath. I practice what I call compassionate breathing — sending calm energy to my client through my own presence.
I once coached someone who was visibly overwhelmed. Rather than offer reassurance, I focused on slowing my own breath. I watched their shoulders drop. Their breath deepened. Our conversation softened.
This is the power of presence. It’s the quiet, embodied work that supports ICF Core Competencies 4 and 5: Cultivating Trust and Safety and Maintaining Presence.
Bringing These Lessons into Coaching Practice
Since reading 7 ½ Lessons About the Brain, I’ve become more attuned to my own internal predictions — and more intentional about replacing assumption with curiosity.
One client came to a session convinced they would always crumble under pressure. In the past, I might’ve jumped too quickly to support or reframe. But instead, I invited them to explore moments where that wasn’t true. We examined exceptions, no matter how small. Their brain, once certain of failure, started to open to other possibilities.
That’s the beauty of prediction — it can be updated.
Ready to Learn More?
If you’re curious about how neuroscience intersects with coaching, I invite you to listen to our latest episode of The Coaching Book Club Podcast. In it, I share more personal stories, practical applications, and reflections alongside co-host Ken McKellar.
You don’t need to be a neuroscientist to apply these ideas. You just need to be curious, compassionate, and willing to question the predictions — yours and your client’s — that shape every coaching conversation.
Listen now, and discover how brain science can deepen your presence, energy, and impact.
