Positive Provocation

“Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves…” — Rainer Maria Rilke

Positive Provocation by Robert Biswas-Diener isn’t your average coaching book. It doesn’t offer a step-by-step formula or promise clarity in five easy questions. Instead, it invites us to lean into discomfort, ask harder questions, and view provocation not as a threat — but as a tool for growth.

This book landed with me at just the right time. I’ll be honest: I wouldn’t have picked it up on my own. I was afraid it would challenge my beliefs more than I was ready for. But that’s the whole point — and exactly why it matters. Positive Provocation encourages coaches to stretch into the unknown, get curious about what we avoid, and embrace complexity as a feature of growth, not a flaw in the process.

Why This Book Matters for Coaching

As a coach, I’m no stranger to tough questions. But this book pushed me to hold space for questions that don’t have neat answers. It reminded me that ambiguity isn’t the enemy of progress — it’s the birthplace of it.

Biswas-Diener describes provocation as an intentional coaching tool: a way to challenge assumptions, stir curiosity, and help clients expand their thinking. It’s not about confrontation for its own sake — it’s about creating the right kind of pressure that leads to insight.

That approach resonated deeply with me. It’s also what makes Positive Provocation so timely for coaches who want to support real transformation.

Three Ideas That Changed My Coaching

1. What If Coaches Had Agendas?

We often think of “having an agenda” as a coaching misstep — but what if we reframed it?

Biswas-Diener suggests that coaches should have an agenda — not about outcomes, but about our beliefs. By being transparent about how we coach and what we value, we help clients decide whether we’re the right fit.

This has changed how I approach discovery sessions. I now tell potential clients: “Coaching with me is about learning and growth. It’s not about quick fixes or advice.” That simple statement helps clarify expectations from the beginning and aligns with ICF Competency 3: Establishing and Maintaining Agreements.

“If I state upfront that coaching is about improvement, then clients can decide if I'm the best fit to help them.”

2. Are We Solving Problems or Supporting Growth?

Many clients come to coaching with a problem to solve — but staying in problem-solving mode can keep them stuck in the short term. Biswas-Diener invites us to move beyond the presenting problem and coach for long-term improvement.

This resonated with how I already see my role: not as a fixer, but as a facilitator of growth. I believe clients often have the answers within — they just need a space to access them.

By shifting from “What’s wrong?” to “What are you learning?”, I support transformation that lasts. That approach aligns with ICF Competency 8: Cultivating Learning and Growth.

“Life is about continual learning — and continual improvement.”

3. What’s So Great About Interrupting?

Interrupting used to make me uncomfortable. I worried it was rude — that it would disrupt the client’s process or break the trust we’d built. But this book flipped that idea on its head.

Biswas-Diener argues that, when done thoughtfully, interrupting can serve the coaching relationship. It can help us redirect, clarify, or illuminate something powerful in the moment.

Now, I set expectations up front. I let clients know that if I interrupt, it’s not to shut them down — it’s to slow the moment and deepen our exploration.

It’s a small but powerful reframe. And it’s helping me be more confident and effective in the moment.

“I’m finding that setting expectations about interruptions is key — and it’s giving me more confidence to step in when it’s needed.”

Applying Provocative Coaching in Practice

Since reading this book, I’ve been experimenting with small shifts in my coaching:

• I ask more questions about what my clients’ emotions are telling them — not just what they feel, but what their feelings might be trying to say.

• I’ve updated my intro sessions to clarify my coaching beliefs and the kind of partnership I offer.

• And I’m practicing intentional interruption — using it as a tool to pause, reflect, and redirect when it serves the conversation.

I’m not overhauling my coaching style — just making space for more curiosity, clarity, and courage.

“Rather than overhauling everything, I'm starting small — and that's creating meaningful shifts.”

Ready to Learn More?

If you’re curious about how provocation can create breakthroughs in your coaching, listen to our latest episode of The Coaching Book Club Podcast. I share more about what surprised me, what I’m still wrestling with, and how I’m integrating these ideas into real-world sessions.

Coaching doesn’t always have to be comfortable. In fact, sometimes discomfort is exactly what our clients — and we — need to grow.

Tune in and explore how small provocations can lead to big transformations.