What The Extended Mind Taught Me About Presence, Movement, and Coaching as a Social Practice

When I first heard about The Extended Mind by Annie Murphy Paul, I was intrigued. The title alone felt like an invitation—to stretch beyond what we typically assume about thinking.

This isn’t just a book about neuroscience. It’s a beautifully researched reminder that our best thinking doesn’t happen in our heads alone. It happens in our bodies. In our environments. And in our relationships.

In our latest episode of The Coaching Book Club Podcast, Ken McKellar and I explored how these ideas connect to coaching—and how they’ve expanded both of our practices in surprising ways.

Here’s what’s still resonating with me.

Our Bodies Know Before Our Minds Do

The book introduced me to the concept of interoception—the awareness of internal body signals like breath, heart rate, or tension.

For coaches, this is gold.

I’ve been experimenting with noticing my own sensations in sessions. If my chest tightens or my breath shortens while a client is speaking, I might name it and ask, “What do you notice in your body as you say that?”

These subtle cues often hold more truth than words.

Annie Murphy Paul writes,

“People who are more aware of their bodily sensations are better able to make use of their non-conscious knowledge.”

That hit home. It reminded me that coaching is deeply human work—and no AI can replicate the wisdom that comes from being in a body, noticing what’s real, and trusting it.

ICF Core Competency 5: Maintains Presence
Because presence starts with noticing—and often, our bodies notice first.

Gestures Are Thinking in Motion

One of my favorite insights from the book:

“Gestures help give shape to an incipient notion still forming in our minds.”

I haven’t stopped thinking about that.

Research shows that our most complex ideas often show up first in our hands, before we can name them in words. Since reading this, I’ve been paying much more attention to how clients move—the flick of a wrist, the press of a palm, the lean of a torso. These gestures are often rich with unspoken insight.

Instead of interpreting, I reflect them back:
“I noticed your hands moved when you said that—what’s happening for you there?”

It invites the client to discover meaning for themselves.
And honestly? It’s helping me trust my own gestures too. I’m letting go of the old advice to “keep your hands still” and embracing the way I think with my body.

ICF Core Competency 7: Evokes Awareness
Because sometimes insight starts with motion, not meaning.

Environments and Relationships Shape How We Think

I recently rearranged my office—and lost sight of the window I used to glance at between sessions. I didn’t realize how much that small connection to nature replenished me until it was gone.

Annie Murphy Paul calls these “micro-restorative opportunities”—moments when our surroundings help us reset. Whether it’s greenery outside a window, a favorite chair, or soft light, our physical space matters more than we think.

And it’s not just about environments—it’s about social context too.

“The development of intelligent thinking is fundamentally a social process,” Paul writes.

This connects deeply to my experience in group mentoring and supervision. I often come into a session with a question… and leave with ten new perspectives I never could have reached on my own.

It reminded me that coaching development is relational. We imitate first, integrate later. We copy before we create.

ICF Core Competency 2: Embodies a Coaching Mindset
ICF Core Competency 4: Cultivates Trust and Safety
Because growth happens not in isolation, but in shared reflection.

How I’m Using This in My Coaching Practice

Since reading The Extended Mind, I’ve been experimenting with:

• Noticing and sharing my own somatic signals in sessions (with permission and in service of the client)

• Reflecting back client gestures and inviting them to explore what’s emerging

• Asking about the client’s environment: “Where are you sitting right now? What’s around you? How does that space impact your thinking?”

• Trusting movement—walks before sessions, stretching between calls, and encouraging clients to get up and move if they feel stuck

• Leaning into group learning—valuing how we grow through dialogue, reflection, and shared insight

Because here’s what I’m remembering:
We don’t have to think our way to clarity.
We can move, feel, gesture, and connect our way there too.

A Final Word

The Extended Mind stretches what we think coaching is. It reframes presence—not as silent stillness—but as a fully embodied state of awareness.

And it reminded me why I believe in this work so deeply.

Coaching isn’t just about asking good questions. It’s about tuning in—fully—to the whole experience of being human. Body, mind, environment, relationship. All of it.

If you’re curious about how your thinking is shaped by more than your thoughts, I highly recommend this book.

You can listen to our full discussion on the Coaching Book Club Podcast, available wherever you love to listen.

And I’d love to hear from you:
What’s one way you think with your body—or with others—without even realizing it?

Let’s keep extending our awareness—together.