Breakthrough Coaching: Why This Book Changed How I See the Work We Do
There are coaching books that remind us of what we know. And then there are books that shift something deeper. Breakthrough Coaching by Marcia Reynolds did the latter for me.
It lit me up with the reminder that coaching isn’t just a way to help people solve problems. It’s a learning technology. One that rewires how people see themselves and the world around them. And for someone who loves learning (and watching others light up with learning), this framing felt electric.
Coaching, in this view, becomes a process of identity evolution. That’s what makes it so transformative. And that’s why I think every coach should spend time with this book.
Let me share four key takeaways that really stood out—and how I’ve been weaving them into my coaching conversations.
1. Coaching changes perspective through guided insight
Reynolds writes, "To see the world and yourself differently, you need help extracting the stories defining your perspective to examine and change them if needed."
Yes. That. Our brains are wired to avoid discomfort and conserve energy. Left to our own devices, we often default to the familiar, even when it's limiting.
That’s why clients need us to ask bold, curious, and emotionally intelligent questions—especially ones that help name what really matters. This is at the heart of the ICF competency Evokes Awareness (Competency 7).
Every time we invite a client to examine their beliefs, values, or assumptions, we’re helping them overcome their own cognitive resistance. We’re expanding the edges of what they see as possible.
2. Letting go of the need to be liked
Reynolds outlines five mental habits that can block transformation. Two that hit home for me: needing clients to find the session valuable, and wanting to be appreciated.
I felt a pang of recognition.
Especially when I’m coaching someone I find intimidating, I notice a pull to be "likable." To earn approval. But when that happens, I’m no longer fully present. I’m subtly performing.
Ironically, that pull to be liked can create a less safe space for the client. Presence falters, curiosity contracts, and coaching becomes more about me than them.
This connects deeply with Embodies a Coaching Mindset (Competency 2) and Maintains Presence (Competency 5). Reynolds offers a simple nervous system hack I’ve started using: sit up straight. It helps reduce internal collapse and re-centers me in openness and trust—trust in myself, trust in the client, and trust in the process.
3. Client-centered focus enhances creativity and change
Here’s a study from the book that stopped me in my tracks: Researchers looked at three ways people approach challenges—going it alone, getting advice, or receiving coaching with reflections and open questions.
Only coaching activated the brain’s creative regions.
Not only that, but participants who were coached felt more confident, energized, and open to new possibilities.
That research backed up what so many of us sense intuitively: when we stay focused on the client’s thinking (not our own ideas), we create real space for transformation. This speaks directly to Maintains Presence (Competency 5) and Evokes Awareness (Competency 7).
Will I share this study with every client? Probably not. But I’m keeping it in my back pocket as both a confidence booster and a reminder of the neuroscience behind why coaching works.
4. The coach as a mental systems engineer
This metaphor made me grin: Reynolds describes coaches as geeks who help clients locate obsolete files, broken links, and outdated drivers in their mental system.
Yes, please. That metaphor is now living rent-free in my coaching toolkit.
What keeps people stuck often isn’t the external challenge—it’s the outdated internal wiring. And that wiring is often tied to identity: who they believe they are in relation to the problem.
When we help clients gently explore those definitions of self, we invite authentic change. And we build trust along the way. This links beautifully to Cultivates Trust and Safety (Competency 4).
Putting it into practice
Since reading Breakthrough Coaching, I’ve been more attentive to my own emotional saboteurs before sessions. I’ve started asking: Am I trying to be impressive? Am I bracing for rejection? Am I collapsing inward?
Just asking these questions has helped me shift from performance to presence.
I’m also experimenting with how I hold my body—more openness, less tension. It’s subtle, but the difference is real.
And in sessions, I’m asking more questions that go beneath the surface. Questions that aren’t just about solving the issue at hand, but about uncovering what’s most important to the client’s sense of self.
If you’re curious to hear more about this, Ken and I unpacked all of it (and more) on the latest episode of The Coaching Book Club Podcast. Give it a listen and let me know what resonated with you most.
